The new moon in Scorpio is exact tomorrow, Friday, November 1 at 8:47am EDT at 9°. The veil between world is thin. The magic and power is within.
Let's get right into it:
Scorpio is ruled by the planet Pluto (traditionally Mars before Pluto was discovered). It's a feminine fixed water sign and rules the 8th house of the inner heart, death and rebirth, renewal, surrender, intimacy/investment with another to create something bigger (i.e. le petit mort), and alchemy.
Scorpio is passionate, deep, powerful, magnetic, psychic, investigative, and also can be intense, manipulative, controlling, compulsive, ruthless, possessive, dark, and secretive. But, let's not be so judgmental of all this shadow side - keep reading ;)
She is mercilessly introspective. She has incredible depth. She feels deeply and has the power to alchemize. She is witchy and powerful. There's no lying to a Scorpio, she knows. She wants to know herself deeply and uncover all her depths and layers to come to the truest of truths within. This can only be done through feeling and we can only feel in the body.
This moon reminds us of our inner alchemist and the magic we hold if only we surrender fully into the wisdom of feeling energy move in our body, in total trust.
About a week leading up to the new moon I experienced my own power of transmutation. It's possible that it's happened to me before, but this time I was fully conscious of it.
There was a trigger. I started going down a very familiar path. Started to retell the old story.... I'm the victim. I need for him to change, to talk to me differently, to not be triggered too and be the objective one, the one that holds space for my inner child because I never had it modeled to me, and I can't. I needed him to prove to me he loves me - in this way.
That night I couldn't sleep. We hadn't come together and I sure wasn't going to initiate the peace. So I got out of bed after the babe fell asleep and started writing in my journal. I wrote and wrote. I poured my rawest emotions onto each page of my journal, I was - maybe finally - allowing myself to feel it all in the safe space of my journal.
I let myself be the villain and unleash her. And then at one point, something began to shift.
The following questions arose from the depths of my inner heart:
What do I really want? What is most important for me?
And when I answered it the victim story, the pain, these ill-feelings and thoughts, etc. began to fall away and I was left with love. I witnessed myself, as if I was the observer, yet still in my body, having transmuted the pain, deep hurt, anger, and rage into love. And then I let myself, if for a moment, forget all that which brought me to my knees, and return to the unconditional love, the love between me and him in its purest form when everything else is stripped away.
I let myself really feel it in my whole body.
When that happened I stopped writing and crawled into his arms, both of us feeling relief and a sense of renewal. (And to my astonishment because it all happened in my body, there was finally a shift, though I know, also, that the flower essences helped me on the emotional level with that shift.)
In that process I finally experienced deep emotional alchemy.
I realize my mission in life is to allow myself to feel anything, no matter how terrifying those feelings might be, and be unrelentingly honest with myself whatever is arising in my body, in the moment. This, I know (don't ask me how, I have instinctive intuition ;)), is why I incarnated as a Scorpio Sun and what my ancestors have been waiting for so that these karmic loops can be released from my lineage.
Letting myself be the villain, if only in the privacy of my journal, was the doorway. I released any judgement toward myself and let her come out in full force. And once she did I accessed the truth of my power.
I showed up for my inner child, I held her and let her rage and curse without judgement. And in that process, I was able to show up for that part of me that so desperately felt like she couldn't live or keep living if her masculine partner didn't do that for her.
I released the story of victimhood and that no man will ever show up for me the way I need him to - whether it's my father or a lover.
And for the first time this powerful transmutation happened not in my head, though of course I was fully conscious of it all as it was happening, but in my body through a deep felt sense of awareness.
And I came back to love and pleasure and joy - my birthright.
I also remembered that it's all energy.
Emotions are energy in motion.
Energy needs to move.
Our body is mostly water, which from the astro perspective is our emotions which are linked to the moon. (Don't you just love astrology!?!)
The density of our existence as humans makes it so challenging to release the emotions. We repress, we hold, we suppress them. When all they desire to do is move.
Energy needs to move in order to be transformed.
And our tears and our body is the vessel for that energy to move. We are alchemists. Magicians.
And this new moon in Scorpio is a reminder of all of this.
What is so clear to me after that experience in which I was both in control and also completely surrendered, is that in order to change and rise out of the ashes like a Phoenix, the ego has to let go of control, a part of us has to die. And that is the hardest freaking thing. I used to be afraid of death when I was younger. I thought it would hurt.
But as I listened to stories of near death experiences, all of those that had had them experienced no pain when their Soul left their body.
And in the moment when I was journaling, tears flowing, it was as if at one point, after I expressed the anger and frustration, having put my villain crown on, I began to embody and converse with my Higher Self, Higher Heart through my body - and it felt like pure bliss in my body. I began to feel a lightness of being.
And that's when I knew I was onto something.
The first part of the process felt like a death, but I kept surrendering, and then the bliss and relief came. I literally felt lighter.
As the heart-centered insights came in I felt a knowing in my body that those were the answers - because they were seeped in love. Not the anger or righteousness and even victimhood that I was feeling earlier. I began to embody my power, the Pluto in my chart, my Scorpio Sun.
And with my Scorpio Sun being in the 9th house I was tapping into a transcendental experience of becoming aware of my beliefs and transmuting them into love.
This is alchemy and all of us have access to this power and magic.
This new moon in Scorpio is asking us to tap into our own inner alchemist. There's a part of you that is ready to die so you can give birth to a new one that deeply desires to come alive. It's a time for renewal and a deep trust that whoever you are becoming, whatever you are leaving behind is what is meant for your rebirth and transformation.
Rather than thinking what you can transform or what can be reborn within you, I encourage you to feel it in your body.
- Has something emotionally rattling happened to you recently or perhaps wait for that moment - it will come. Can you put your villain crown on and unleash the rage into the pages of your journal? Free write. Let it all out. And then burn the pages once you're done - no one needs to see them, but you. It's simply about the process.
- Once you get to a point when you feel complete in that release, ask yourself. What do I really want? For me, in that moment I knew I loved my partner and he is incredibly important to me. More important than the story I was perceiving as true and felt I had no control over.
- Can you trust in the power of your own felt experience?
- And then from that place of empowerment (Pluto) feel into your new moon intentions. What do you want to call in to your life?
Find 9° of Scorpio in your chart to assist you in understanding what part of your life this alchemy may be happening. Trust your intuition. Scorpio moon has a deep knowing.
And if you want to go deep into your own womb wisdom here's a free Yoga Nidra I created called Your Creative Power Within. Connect to your deepest desires and bring them into form.
Here's to your transformation, to you discovering the magician and alchemist, maybe even the witch within (this moon happens just after Halloween after all).
I hope this message is empowering to you. Surrender is such a vulnerable thing to do. But know that your Higher Self and your connection to Source and all your angels and guides and ancestors are rooting for you and know how powerful you already are.
Can you trust that you are held? You've got this.
If you enjoyed reading and don't want to miss the next one you can sign up to receive these in your inbox here.