Years ago - probably a decade ago now - when I wasn't so sure I would find my guy, I read the book The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman. I was curious what I'd need from a partner to feel loved, how I preferred to express love, and why I just wasn't feeling it with the guys I was meeting.
A few years later after meeting my now husband, I spoke to an astrologer who helped me understand what I needed to feel loved - it was tenderness and space/independence. I needed to be my own person, to pursue my own dreams and feel free and I also needed someone to be tender and nurturing with me. These rang incredibly true as I reflected on my past relationships. Gratefully, I had finally found my love language match.
While the stars aligned, and we settled into our relationship groove, I realized there's so much more to the love connection? While I felt my deep need for independence and tenderness were fulfilled, I wanted to understand his language too, and perhaps beyond those needs there was a language I was attuned to.
This is why I love this love language quiz that was created to supplement the book.
I took it last year, and just this week again and both times my primary love language was Words of Affirmation and my close second was Quality Time. The other three are Physical Contact, Receiving Gifts, and Acts of Service. I also know what Aran's love language is.
We've both been more conscious of our love languages the past week as I've prepared to write this email and have to say I appreciate him knowing what mine is and vice versa. Our love feels tended to.
And did you know that your love language can change depending on where you are in your life?
If you've just had a baby and your language was Physical Touch, perhaps now it's Acts of Service as you feel the need to be taken care of and for your loved ones to help your nourish yourself with homemade food made with love.
And we all have a love language in the workplace!
Even if you're not in a personal relationship you can still apply these concepts in a similar way in the workplace or your organization. Here's some more info on that if you're intrigued!
If you're someone who always strives to understand yourself better and how you relate to others, this is a fun way to discover your love language - how you need others to express love to you and how you like to express love in return. The quiz just takes 10 minutes, but you get a lifetime of understanding what makes your heart flutter on the daily.
Happy Valentine’s Day!